Written by Sonia Nelson
Photo by Karyn Ward
The second morning of Estonia 2019, our speaker, Peg, challenged us with,
“Hope is the ability to hear the melody of the future,
Faith is the courage to dance to it.”
How I apply the word HOPE to my life is a work in progress.
If hope is having assurance and confident expectation, it is NOT what I have been doing…hoping with my fingers and toes crossed, hands to Heaven, in a “Can you even see me, Lord?” posture.
At the end of 2018, I got the label of Stage 4…no cure…it has spread… It felt like a life sentence, maybe because it is from the world’s perspective. So why, just a couple weeks later, did the Holy Spirit cause a stirring in my heart and I heard myself say, “Why, of course, I will go to Estonia, in the Fall, as a lead counselor!” Each time, in the next 10 months, that I got sick or didn’t tolerate chemo well, I thought maybe I had made a mistake in making this commitment!
But here I am, sharing my heart and having stories shared with me, in a place where the Holy Spirit is at work in a palpable way. This morning, an attendee shared with me something she learned when reading about lineage in the Bible. She pointed out that many times when people of faith are in the lineage, their number of years are recorded, while those who did not follow the Lord are referenced but we don’t know how long they lived. The takeaway: Our time as pursuers of relationship with the Lord, is important no matter how long or short it is.
I remember thinking last January, “I HOPE I am alive in October so I can go to Estonia!” I was putting my hope in an uncontrollable, rather than in the Spirit that called me! The melody of my future is uncertain. Are there constraints to my life because of that uncertainty… or is it really one big dance floor?
I leave with this: The God who brought me here to this retreat is the God I serve and He can take me anywhere He chooses…for as long as he chooses…and I will dance because He is watching. Wanna dance with me?