What Your Mom Wants You to Know…But May Not Know How to Say

Posted on: October 20, 2007 Written by
What Your Mom Wants You to Know…But May Not Know How to Say
Photography by: Digital Vision from iStock          

When you became a global worker, your parents’ lives changed almost as much as yours did, just in different ways.  Your parents became POMs—parents of global workers—and no matter how long they had to prepare for your leaving or how much they support your decision, adjusting to their new role can be challenging.

 

Sometimes in the midst of saying good-bye, the most important things are never said.  If your mother has not shared these thoughts with you yet, she may not know how.  Perhaps you can use this list to ask questions and start the conversation.

 

1.  As a parent of a global worker, I grieve.  I love you, and I am proud of who you are and what you are doing, but I miss you.  I miss sharing everyday experiences with you as well as special times and holidays.  I see your siblings missing you too, and I feel badly for them.  I am trying to deal with my grief in healthy ways, but I do not think it will ever go away completely.

 

2.  Still, if my feelings of grief have ever gotten in the way of supporting your global worker endeavors, I apologize.  You have my complete blessing to pursue God’s leading in your life.

 

3.  I can handle the miles between us if our emotional connection is strong.  You left for the field before we completed the transition from parent and child to being adult friends.  The time you spent with me before you left, however, meant so much; it helped me feel that we could continue building and maintaining our connection even though we would be apart.

 

4.  I care about what your life is like.  I love to hear about how you are doing, who you are meeting, and what you are learning.  I treasure your emails and our catch-up phone calls when you have not felt like writing.

 

5.  I want to know my grandchildren, and I want them to know me!  I will do all I can to build a relationship with them even though I am far away.  Thank you for believing with me that this is important and for helping me to stay connected with the children.

 

6.  I am OK.  I am embracing my identity as a POM, and—most days—I like it!  Because you are a global worker, my world is larger.  I know I will meet people in heaven who are there because of you.  By dealing with my circumstances, I have grown as a person.  Proverbs 17:6 says, Parents are the pride of their children (niv).  I want you to be proud of me.

 

7.  I pray for you daily.  Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. (Philippians 1:3, nlt)

 

8. You will always be my daughter.  Your life experiences may be different from mine, and you may be changed by them in significant ways.  But never doubt my love for you.

 



About the author

Diane has been a POM since 2002. She co-founded the National Network of Parents of Missionaries, www.pomnet.org , with Cheryl Savageau, EdD. Her partner, Chery,l is a licensed clinical counselor whose doctoral research and dissertation examined the stresses experienced by parents of missionaries. Diane and Cheryl are writing a book for POMs that will be published by STL/Authentic in the fall of 2008. “A book I read this year that I recommend is Anonymous: Jesus’ Hidden Years…and Yours , by Alicia Britt Chole. Really helped me feel more OK alone out here in freelance land; might have the same effect for missionary women.”

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