We have lived in the states now five months.
The fall weather has been beautiful here
and I find a bit of nostalgia creeping
into my heart for France.
Perhaps it is because the change of season
which stirs the soul as well.
There is at times,
an emptiness inside of me.
Cold wind cleanses the air
from impurities, stinging my nostrils,
and purifying every breath that fills my lungs.
It exposes the ache of my soul afresh-
and longing burns inside like the blow of wind.
Everything speaks of dying
and leaving. Abandonment.
The glory of colors that splash
an array of beautiful shades-
red, crimson, orange, yellow,
melon, sherbert and lime.
The geese that flee,
flapping wings and
call into my soul.
If the world is dying
around me and things are leaving,
what is left in me to keep alive?
All of the death and loss
I have ever known
come to life inside me,
when all around
I see life deteriorating
or going away.
I am getting ready too-
to hibernate, to ready for
the winter in my soul.
But to whom do I go
with the death that
now pervades my soul?
I go to the Lifegiver,
the Creator of the earth,
who knows and understands,
who puts in motion the cycle of life.
For aren’t the trees revealing their
greatest glory in their death?
Oh Father, how am I to reveal glory
in the ‘deaths’ of my life-
how do I find a nesting place in You
to rest and be stored and safe in?
Only You know my needs for comfort
and nourishment to last me a season,
a day, a precious moment.
Speak to my heart and let me
embrace the death inside
that looks for life in You.