First Day Journal
5:30 pm and through the border check! About half of our trailer unloaded and peeked into and nothing taken out from the car. They didn’t dig into a single box! I guess it all looked like junk. J Thanks, Lord. (Who would have thought I’d be thankful one day for not having nice things.)
Stopped for gas; had trouble figuring out the money: pesos per liter, not dollars per gallon. No unleaded gas down here—the car is struggling. The bathrooms were… according to Jeff (3 years old), “stooky-mucky.” No paper, a very infrequently flashing strobe for a light, no seat (it was totally full; who’d sit down anyway!?!), filthy dirty, puddles (of?!) on the floor—when the light flickered I memorized their locations as I approached the toilet. As it was night, I sent the boys out to the bushes.
We passed up a lovely motel at $43 a night for a $17 motel… “clean but plain” my husband informed me. Rough sheets and a thin bedspread (no blankets), not one electric outlet (forget the alarm clock and hair dryer), no trash baskets, not even in the bathroom, no bulbs in the lamps (1 overhead bulb), 3 very thin hand towels, brownish-pink toilet paper (pretty soft though!), a closet with no hangers and the door propped up, the bedside table missing the back two legs and propped against the wall. There was one small framed picture and one empty frame. Our bathroom door only had a knob on the inside, and there was no shower curtain. Oh, well, there wasn’t any hot water anyway! Couldn’t find my toothbrush. There were only two tiny lumpy pillows (which we gave to the kids J). We took in two of our own, which we forgot and left behind this morning. But no bugs in the bed! We used our sleeping bags for warmth and our own water to drink. What more could we desire? (Clean, but definitely plain.)
Morning. Well, everything is certainly in Spanish. Things are pretty dry, flat, gravelly, sage-brushy. There are thousands of bottles by the road—I take it they don’t have a recycling program here. Well… here we are…“home.” What a fool I was; I thought this was going to be such an adventure. Now that we’re here I’m not sure I want to be. I was thinking, “It’s because I love these people.” But as I look at the passing houses and towns I realize I don’t love them. From the back of the car comes a little Jeffrey voice, “I want to be in Colorado.” Out of the mouths of babes! Oh, Lord, help! Will is so excited, and I am such a fool. What was in my mind when we decided to do this!?!
Listened to some Twila Paris tapes… “the warrior is a child,” “suddenly now, I feel so small,” “make Your desire mine,” “making investments that won’t pay off ’til I die,” “can I trust You Lord?” I hope Will can’t see my tears. I guess I was spiritually ready for a change; I was getting so settled and confident. Thank You Lord for starting on me the first day, getting my focus right, and for giving Twila those songs to give to me. I can trust You. I can’t trump up love for these people; but You love them, and you love me. I am your willing servant. “The Battle is the Lord’s!” To God be the glory!